I've often said, to myself at the very least, that I feel my morality and sensibility was informed more by Nietzche and the Buddha than my father. As such I know the value of plucking attachments from your wings and I know to expect agonizing loneliness when you try to do what your soul is urging. I'll stop short of saying I wish I never moved here and leave it at the statement that I'm not sure what I'm doing here. There is no time for remorse. But I will admit one thing to a sympathetic audience: I'm lonely as hell. I'm shoring up strength, finally, but the last few weeks have been difficult.

I've had two full days of class now. A radical transition from both my previous idle weekends and my last academic foray. I share the room now with a mixed bag of objectives, people who think differently than me and young professors who did what I should have. I am honestly trying to connnect with them. I submit my first piece of writing, a poem, for critique this coming Saturday. You can read it below:

Feel the fade into existence
as one thinks of
wasted time in patience.
A phalanx of idle listeneres,
an overreaching blanket statement.

Every bureau drawer
another form to prove statistics
or unexplored foreign soil
dismissed as overly simplistic.

And everywhere I go
I get the sense I've barely missed it.

I'll say only one thing for it, that its very different from things anyone has submitted so far.



I'm looking for a group or organization to join to either somehow contribute to this community or at the very least feel like I'm part of it. And yet, it seems audacious for me, an alien, to get involved in politics. Every charity is operated out of a church, and the Idaho Athiests have limited their activities to cleaning up trash along one short stretch of road. Boise State has nary a single organization that piques my interest. If anyone has any advice at seeking these kinds of opportunities out, I would appreciate it.