" . . . and he who wants to create beyond himself has the purest will." -Nietzche

When I was a younger man, a child really, I used to write myself antagonistic letters to read several years hence. They were mean, optimistic, unapologetic, confrontational, inspirational, and, to me reading them now, powerful. They listed the pitfalls of conventional life; screamed at me not to fall into the well-worn traps of television, addiction, greed, terrified love, laziness. They made sweeping generalizations, knowing full-well my ideas would evolve, but demanded that I never lose tenacity. I threatened all manner of impossiblities should I transform into any stereotype or give up on what I think may be my only actual talent.

The point is this: we all know that there is something we should be doing. We may not know exactly how to get there, or what the signs will be on the way; but if you search your feelings (as much as I shy away from relying on emotion) honestly you will find that there is one thing in which you can find satisfaction. This is not to say that you may not find great loves or grandeous and beautiful distractions; but as each year passes with the dream unpursued (whether you realize it or not) the colors of your life will grow darker and darker.

I am about to leave my home for a place that, while not altogether unfamiliar, holds more questions than answers. I am leaving behind a great many loved ones, colleagues, vivid memories and opportunities. My heart wrenches at the disruption this will cause not only to them but my own comfort. My sole consolation, in all of this, is that I am working on my dreams. And my sole pride in this decision is that, despite the tears, 16 year-old tkhoveringhead would be proud of me.